My son and daughter-in-law will be here next week. My son has been dieting big time so he can go into the navy and he's done really well. He's gotten to his goal weight and even lost more. He exercises about 3-4 hours a day.
Now he wants to come up here and eat. He wants cake, meatloaf, chili, a snack night while be play board games, nachos from bingo and I'm afraid to find out what else. How am I going to control my eating with all this around?
I ended up eating about 4 pieces of that damn cake. I thought I would of had more control but I just don't.
Today I had a strawberry shake, a meal bar, 3 homemade tacos and was doing pretty well. Even almost got a whole liter of water in. Then hubby goes to work, and I was pissed at him, so I had left over Heath bits and chocolate chips so I ate those. Nothing is safe in this house!!! I'm on my third diet root beer and am still so thirsty due to my diabetes.
Thankfully tomorrow we'll be out making deliveries so I won't be home to sit here and eat and will be getting in some exercise.
Like I've said, I know so much of my problem is just plain old boredom, so I've started crocheting again making stuffed animals that I want to sell at the Farmer's market in town. Hopefully I'll be able to keep my food intake in check by getting more involved in something.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
So I've been doing pretty good for a couple days now. I'm down 2 more pounds...but then we decide to go to bingo at the casino. Spend a little money and have a good time. BUT,.. the nachos they have there are soooooooo good. So I decide, I won't eat til we go tonight. The only thing I had all day was a pop and meal bar, so hopefully it won't impact my weight too much.
So we go. I get the nachos and a pop. Oh, yeah that hit the spot. But it's ok...I usually eat the whole thing but this time I didn't . So you have to admit, that's an improvement for me since usually I devour the whole thing. I drink pop after pop and then I need some candy. We get chocolate covered peanuts. (I share with hubby) I win $300 on bingo (YAY) and then we go and play the slots.
Then we get home and I have to bake a cake for an bake auction over at the Eagles club that they're having for St. Patty's Day. I'm up til about 1am. I didn't eat anything which was good and then once the cake is baked, (I did sample a bit) I go to bed.
Get up in the morning, and get the cake all frosted. The cake is cocoa chocolate cake with toffee pieces in it, with a creamy fluffy frosting with some milk chocolate pieces and toffee pieces sprinkled on top. It's gotta be 4 inches thick because I used one of those foil pans made for lasagne. I want it to go for alot of money at the auction so I have to make it as enticing as I can.
The cake is done and my friend calls to ask what we're up to. I tell her that we're going to the Eagles to drop off the cake for the auction, and that's when she informs me that the event happened last night!!! OMG!! What crap is this? I look up the newletter and find out it WAS last night! I'm so pissed ,panicked, and I don't want this cake in the house. We go and give my parents a 1/4 of it. I know they dont want more of it. My Dad is a diabetic and my Mom is gaining weight so they don't need it anymore than I do. So what do I do, I have a piece of it...not just a regular piece, no....I have to have 1/2 of a quarter of it. It's good, but I couldn't eat it all so throw the rest away.
Now we still have 1/2 of this humongeous cake. I've gotta be strong because I really dont want to gain all the weight back that I just lost...but alas, when I got up this morning, and just because of the nachos and candy, I gained two back. But I'm hoping that because of the salt factor, it will be gone tomorrow. Let's hope that the cake doesnt add that much more on. I doubt I'll eat very much the rest of the day and I'll try to force the water down.
So we go. I get the nachos and a pop. Oh, yeah that hit the spot. But it's ok...I usually eat the whole thing but this time I didn't . So you have to admit, that's an improvement for me since usually I devour the whole thing. I drink pop after pop and then I need some candy. We get chocolate covered peanuts. (I share with hubby) I win $300 on bingo (YAY) and then we go and play the slots.
Then we get home and I have to bake a cake for an bake auction over at the Eagles club that they're having for St. Patty's Day. I'm up til about 1am. I didn't eat anything which was good and then once the cake is baked, (I did sample a bit) I go to bed.
Get up in the morning, and get the cake all frosted. The cake is cocoa chocolate cake with toffee pieces in it, with a creamy fluffy frosting with some milk chocolate pieces and toffee pieces sprinkled on top. It's gotta be 4 inches thick because I used one of those foil pans made for lasagne. I want it to go for alot of money at the auction so I have to make it as enticing as I can.
The cake is done and my friend calls to ask what we're up to. I tell her that we're going to the Eagles to drop off the cake for the auction, and that's when she informs me that the event happened last night!!! OMG!! What crap is this? I look up the newletter and find out it WAS last night! I'm so pissed ,panicked, and I don't want this cake in the house. We go and give my parents a 1/4 of it. I know they dont want more of it. My Dad is a diabetic and my Mom is gaining weight so they don't need it anymore than I do. So what do I do, I have a piece of it...not just a regular piece, no....I have to have 1/2 of a quarter of it. It's good, but I couldn't eat it all so throw the rest away.
Now we still have 1/2 of this humongeous cake. I've gotta be strong because I really dont want to gain all the weight back that I just lost...but alas, when I got up this morning, and just because of the nachos and candy, I gained two back. But I'm hoping that because of the salt factor, it will be gone tomorrow. Let's hope that the cake doesnt add that much more on. I doubt I'll eat very much the rest of the day and I'll try to force the water down.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Why?
So I'm sitting here, watching tv, trying to find anything to do but eat, but eating is all that's on my mind.
I've heard about blogging and how it can take your mind off of things, so I decide to get my mind off of food, but then how am I to do that if I'm going to blog about food, and all it entails...such as eating it. Sounds like a Catch-22 if you ask me.
But I figure, I'll give it a try.
Could it be working already? I'm concentrating on this, so I'm not thinking about food, Oh, but wait a minute, I say the word food and I start thinking about it again. ....see a Catch-22 if I ever say one.
The reasons I want to....or should I say, need to loose the weight is because I'm a 55 year old woman who is obese, VERY OBESE, and who has diabetes, high blood pressure and on the verge of having high cholesterol.....or possibly might already since I was suppose to go back to the doctor in January, but decided against it because I was suppose to lose weight but didn't so I'll probably have to go back on the meds for all the lovely problems I have. ...well, plus it cost so damn much to go back to see the doctor. I know, excuses if I ever saw them.
So here I sit, watching House and thinking about the pumpkin cake with the cream cheese frosting sitting in my fridge. You may ask, why is it sitting in there? Well, I wanted something sweet last night, and searched and searched thru my cupboards that are already bare so I won't eat everything in sight, but still found a can of pumpkin left over from Thanksgiving. Ok, so what can I make with that? Look on the back of the can, and there it is, pumpkin bars! But no, we don't want to make a few crumby bars, we want a big 'ol cake with some thick cream cheese frosting smeared all over it. So I make the cake. It cools, I frost it, I eat a piece. MMMM...I eat another piece. The taste of it in my mouth is unbelieveably delicious. Ok, that's enough for now. And I know I've satisfied my taste for sweets so I should be fine. Then today gets here.I do great the whole day, but then the minute hubby leaves for work, my mind is on the cake once again. I do all I can to get it out of my mind. I start to think about how it feels in my mouth, how it taste, the texture, the pure joy I get out of just having it in my mouth. One piece down, mop the floor, vaccuum, give two huge pieces to my parents, leave two huge pieces for the hubby, but there is still one piece left....hmmmm....yep, you've guessed it, I got another piece and ate it. And still those pieces that are left for hubby,...no..no I can't.
And so I start this blog, to maybe see if I can sort out my reasons, my need, for why I feel I have to eat. Can it just be the taste I'm after? Is there some deep dark secret that coerces me to go and stuff food in my face? I can relate to Ruby on tv. She can't remember alot of her childhood...could that be my problem? Was I abused or something when I was younger to where I have this eating disorder? I've always been overweight...as long as I can remember. I've been on so may diets it's ridiculous. Pills, meal bars, shakes, Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers and TOPS, joined the different weight loss groups on the internet, exercised, even back in the 80s when you would go in to get a shot of a pregnant woman's placenta and eat a chicken breast every day, and the tons of water I've drank...I could fill Lake Erie...well, in a matter of speaking...I probably have...lol
So what or why is the reason I feel I have to consume everything in sight? I think, it's because I just like the taste of food....so I've classified myself as a food-aholic. I'm like an alcoholic, except I gotta have the food. And it's even harder than being an alcoholic or someone who smokes. You have to have food. If I were an alcoholic, or smoked, you have to go out and get those things...food is always accessible because it's always in the house. And if I just had the "good" foods in the house....I would still abuse it and eat more than I should. And therein lies my other problem, I have no control over portions. I can eat all the "good" foods, but if I don't watch the protions, isn't it the same as just stuffing myself with the "bad" foods?
For the last 3 weeks I've been trying to eat sensibly. I drink a protein shake in the morning. Cookies and Cream shakes. Very good tasting. Then have maybe a cup of light yogurt and 1/2 cup of granola.For dinner, I have a small piece of meat and some veggies and then at night I have a piece of fruit. How long do you think I will last on this one?
I just want to loose some weight before I go to Vegas. I haven't seen my son for almost a year. He moved to California with his wife. And we plan on going to California for a couple days to visit, and then on to Vegas. I've put some more weight on since I lost saw them. I had lost 75 pounds about 2 years ago, but I've gained it all back but about 30 of it. I wonder if they'll notice? So now I want to hurry and lose that 45 pounds in a month....like that's going to happen. Well I have lost 10 of it...but we all know thats pretty much water weight. I'm still not getting offa my butt and exercising, so Im still not really using up calories except for what I usually lose just from everyday activities.
So for right now, right this minute, the urge to go eat another piece of that cake, has passed. And so I think I'm going to leave this blog for the moment and go drink a gallon of water. If the urge comes back,......as Arnold Swarzenegger says, I'll be back!
I've heard about blogging and how it can take your mind off of things, so I decide to get my mind off of food, but then how am I to do that if I'm going to blog about food, and all it entails...such as eating it. Sounds like a Catch-22 if you ask me.
But I figure, I'll give it a try.
Could it be working already? I'm concentrating on this, so I'm not thinking about food, Oh, but wait a minute, I say the word food and I start thinking about it again. ....see a Catch-22 if I ever say one.
The reasons I want to....or should I say, need to loose the weight is because I'm a 55 year old woman who is obese, VERY OBESE, and who has diabetes, high blood pressure and on the verge of having high cholesterol.....or possibly might already since I was suppose to go back to the doctor in January, but decided against it because I was suppose to lose weight but didn't so I'll probably have to go back on the meds for all the lovely problems I have. ...well, plus it cost so damn much to go back to see the doctor. I know, excuses if I ever saw them.
So here I sit, watching House and thinking about the pumpkin cake with the cream cheese frosting sitting in my fridge. You may ask, why is it sitting in there? Well, I wanted something sweet last night, and searched and searched thru my cupboards that are already bare so I won't eat everything in sight, but still found a can of pumpkin left over from Thanksgiving. Ok, so what can I make with that? Look on the back of the can, and there it is, pumpkin bars! But no, we don't want to make a few crumby bars, we want a big 'ol cake with some thick cream cheese frosting smeared all over it. So I make the cake. It cools, I frost it, I eat a piece. MMMM...I eat another piece. The taste of it in my mouth is unbelieveably delicious. Ok, that's enough for now. And I know I've satisfied my taste for sweets so I should be fine. Then today gets here.I do great the whole day, but then the minute hubby leaves for work, my mind is on the cake once again. I do all I can to get it out of my mind. I start to think about how it feels in my mouth, how it taste, the texture, the pure joy I get out of just having it in my mouth. One piece down, mop the floor, vaccuum, give two huge pieces to my parents, leave two huge pieces for the hubby, but there is still one piece left....hmmmm....yep, you've guessed it, I got another piece and ate it. And still those pieces that are left for hubby,...no..no I can't.
And so I start this blog, to maybe see if I can sort out my reasons, my need, for why I feel I have to eat. Can it just be the taste I'm after? Is there some deep dark secret that coerces me to go and stuff food in my face? I can relate to Ruby on tv. She can't remember alot of her childhood...could that be my problem? Was I abused or something when I was younger to where I have this eating disorder? I've always been overweight...as long as I can remember. I've been on so may diets it's ridiculous. Pills, meal bars, shakes, Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers and TOPS, joined the different weight loss groups on the internet, exercised, even back in the 80s when you would go in to get a shot of a pregnant woman's placenta and eat a chicken breast every day, and the tons of water I've drank...I could fill Lake Erie...well, in a matter of speaking...I probably have...lol
So what or why is the reason I feel I have to consume everything in sight? I think, it's because I just like the taste of food....so I've classified myself as a food-aholic. I'm like an alcoholic, except I gotta have the food. And it's even harder than being an alcoholic or someone who smokes. You have to have food. If I were an alcoholic, or smoked, you have to go out and get those things...food is always accessible because it's always in the house. And if I just had the "good" foods in the house....I would still abuse it and eat more than I should. And therein lies my other problem, I have no control over portions. I can eat all the "good" foods, but if I don't watch the protions, isn't it the same as just stuffing myself with the "bad" foods?
For the last 3 weeks I've been trying to eat sensibly. I drink a protein shake in the morning. Cookies and Cream shakes. Very good tasting. Then have maybe a cup of light yogurt and 1/2 cup of granola.For dinner, I have a small piece of meat and some veggies and then at night I have a piece of fruit. How long do you think I will last on this one?
I just want to loose some weight before I go to Vegas. I haven't seen my son for almost a year. He moved to California with his wife. And we plan on going to California for a couple days to visit, and then on to Vegas. I've put some more weight on since I lost saw them. I had lost 75 pounds about 2 years ago, but I've gained it all back but about 30 of it. I wonder if they'll notice? So now I want to hurry and lose that 45 pounds in a month....like that's going to happen. Well I have lost 10 of it...but we all know thats pretty much water weight. I'm still not getting offa my butt and exercising, so Im still not really using up calories except for what I usually lose just from everyday activities.
So for right now, right this minute, the urge to go eat another piece of that cake, has passed. And so I think I'm going to leave this blog for the moment and go drink a gallon of water. If the urge comes back,......as Arnold Swarzenegger says, I'll be back!
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